Join Us for Dinner

A about a month ago I was at a wedding in the D.C. area, and in the elevator of the hotel, there was a poster encouraging the guests to have dinner at the hotel’s restaurant/bar. It looked like this:

Join Us for Dinner poster

...just don't plan on eating much

I wouldn’t have noticed, but a friend pointed out that in the text of the ad, while you are invited to dinner, you aren’t offered food, only booze. I chuckled, snapped the shot, and posted it to facebook eventually, where I got these comments:

I: I love the ‘beer then liquor’ implications…

And then:

A: I think they were going to talk about the burger, but they ran out of space.

Both of which I agreed with, in fact, I’d been thinking that I’d try my hand at some alternative copy.

Join us for dinner

Start with a handcrafted Samuel Adams Boston Lager

Followed by a classic cocktail made with Jack Daniel’s Whiskey.

After that, do a straight shot of Jack and take a leak. Meet someone with coke in the bathroom and do a line.

Go outside and bum a smoke. Tell all the smokers how great you are.

Go back inside and ingratiate yourself with a group of college kids. Order them a scorpion bowl. You’re their new best friend!

I think that hot chick likes you. Order “whatever she’s having”, which, it turns out, is Pinot Noir.

Try your first SoCo and Lime with the college kids. You’ll never do that again!

Realize you’re way too far gone to make it with that hot chick and catch a cab home. On the way, puke discreetly into the paper bag that little bottle of Night Train came in. Wait, where did that even come from?

When you get home, shower in your clothes and fall asleep in the tub.

At some point in there, you should probably get a burger or something.